If your friend or partner is about to hit a milestone you might want to (or be asked to!) give a speech at their birthday party. This can be a daunting prospect, particularly if you haven’t done much public speaking in the past. But fear not, we have a few tips that will help you write a speech for the ages …
A simple structure for a birthday speech
You don’t need anything clever. Almost every good birthday speech follows the same four steps:
- Introduce yourself – who you are and how you know the birthday person. One or two sentences is plenty.
- Pick two or three qualities – kind, funny, stubborn in a good way. Bring each one to life with a story (more on that below).
- Say what they mean to you – one honest line. This is the bit people remember.
- Raise a glass – a short toast to finish. “To Katie!” is all it needs.
Write the middle first. Once you know your stories, the introduction and the toast almost write themselves.
Showcase their qualities by telling stories
Once you’ve introduced yourself, you’ll want to talk about the star of the show.
Of course you can describe them – tell the audience that they are kind, funny etc. but you’ll be much more engaging if you can show your audience your friend being kind or funny through some interesting or amusing anecdotes.
Pick stories that will engage the senses and be as descriptive as possible.
For example, rather than simply saying:
‘Just last week I was out with Katie and she helped an old lady across the road.’
take us there with:
‘Just last week I was out with Katie. We spotted an old lady hunched over by the side of a loud, busy road. Katie immediately ran up to her and offered to help. She spent a good five minutes getting her over the road but never stopped chatting and smiling as she did so.’
Know who you’re talking to
Who will be in front of you when you give this speech?
If it’s a group of liberal friends you can be a bit more forthcoming with your stories and anecdotes than at a conservative family dinner. With the latter you might want to drop that story about the trip to Holland!
Make sure you tailor your speech to your audience.
How long should a birthday speech be?
Two to five minutes. That is roughly 300 to 700 words if you write it out in full. Anything past ten minutes is too long, however good the stories are.
At birthday parties the speeches are bonuses, not the main event, so don’t feel the need to fill time for the sake of it. Get your introduction sorted. Pick two or three key qualities. Bring them to life. Sign off. You’re there to boost up your friend or partner, not prove you can give a long speech.
Three ways to open a birthday speech
The first line is the one people worry about most. Any of these will get you going:
- Start in the middle of a story. “It’s 2am, we’re in a car park in Swindon, and Katie has just decided we’re going to Paris.” Skip the throat-clearing and drop the audience straight into a scene.
- Start with the number. “Forty years. That’s roughly 14,600 days, and I reckon I’ve been on the receiving end of a Katie pep talk on about half of them.” A bit of maths gives you an easy laugh and a way in.
- Start honestly. “I’m not a natural at speeches, but I wasn’t going to let tonight go by without saying something about my sister.” Admitting the nerves puts the room on your side straight away.
Whichever you choose, say the birthday person’s name in the first ten seconds. People want to know who this is about.
Enjoy it
The people in your audience want you to do well. They want to enjoy your speech. It’s not going to cost you a job or a promotion if you slip up, so why sweat it? See the speech as an opportunity to support your partner or friend and build your own confidence.
Go out there and have fun!
Birthday speech checklist
Before the party, check you can tick all of these:
- You have said who you are and how you know them.
- You have two or three stories, each showing a different quality.
- Nothing in it would embarrass them in front of their gran (or their boss).
- It runs to five minutes or less when you read it out loud.
- You have said, in one plain sentence, what they mean to you.
- It ends with a toast, and you know the last line by heart.
- You have read it aloud at least three times, once to another person.
Birthday speech FAQs
How long should a birthday speech be?
Two to five minutes is ideal. Under two feels thrown away; over ten and the room is checking the bar.
Should I write it out or use notes?
Write it out in full first, then cut it down to a few bullet points on a card. Reading word for word sounds stiff; a card with your stories and your last line keeps you safe if you lose your place.
What if I get emotional?
Pause, take a breath and carry on. Nobody minds. If anything, a wobble in the voice at the what-they-mean-to-me bit is what makes the speech.
Is it OK to be funny in a birthday speech?
Yes, as long as the jokes are about things you both find funny. Tease them about their terrible parking, not about anything they are genuinely sensitive about, and make sure the last thing you say is warm.
If you would like to run your speech past someone before the day, our one-to-one public speaking coaching includes rehearsal with honest feedback. Or book a free consultation call and we can talk it through.
